omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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