then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You pole danced in your parka.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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