Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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