bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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