I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
