i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
