And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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