Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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