my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Boobs speak an international language.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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