Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
