SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
