i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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