new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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