Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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