Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
