I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize