Don't you send me to vm
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
