What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
