I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
