Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize