love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Randomize
