So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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