I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
