It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
So many bounce houses so little time
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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