You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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