just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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