Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
you will always have a special place in my vag
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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