Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
