I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
