just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
