Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
