I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
