last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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