...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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