do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
