Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
