yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
