I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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