Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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