where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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