Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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