my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
