And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
