there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
two words: eviction party
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Randomize
