Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I didn't notice because vodka
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
