i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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