I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
