So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
