Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
