Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
