We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
