I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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