I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm sobbing to NWA
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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