This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
