we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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