"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
