I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Randomize