What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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