Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
