i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
