I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
