i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
God I need to hump something, right now.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
