I am in a vortex of obligation.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
