I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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