a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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