Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
