What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
This is my gift to your gina
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
