it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
